We meet people, get to know them and make our conclusions about them. We are human... Good day beloved readers.
This entry in particular is not meant to hurt but rather for one to think it over...
I've been doing some blog 'stalking' and in average of 3 out of 10 (results may differ =P), I usually find single women blogs describing the type of guy they want. First criteria for a muslim lady states, someone who is 'Islamic' in nature, which is indeed a very good criteria. Secondly, someone who is able to help guide them towards God, being he will later be the leader of the family. Also true. Thirdly someone who is loving and caring, with a good sense of humor and able to be a good father to their future children. Other criterias, the likes and dislikes as well as wealth, looks and a few other small indiscretions. Now here is the first catch... How many men out there fit the bill?
My next question would probably be, you want someone to guide you but when you meet that someone, are you ready to be guided? If you see the majority nowdays, we each stand on different principles. If it doesn't benefit us in this world, would we even adhere to it? Some married couples say they feel so chained up, they don't even know why they are married. Leave alone the question of, to whose house should they drive back home for Raya... =) Men sometimes too, are stubborn and unruly I believe. We get carried away with our own ideologies of right and wrong, that we can't seem to tolerate other opinions. As a husband or leader, shouldn't we also be just?
It's funny sometimes to see a married couple, one to be so dominating while the other, like a mouse just hold back and keep the stress bottled up to themselves. If a man were to do so, he is called a dictator and on the other hand, if a woman was the dominator, she will be called queen control. But funny enough, these so called 'independant' women, their top criteria is to find someone to guide them. =P
I haven't even have the chance to argue the other criterias stated in their ideal man list or for some guys they too have the ideal woman list, but just taking the main one, it's arguably enough to say, we ourselves really don't know what we want and what is best for us. True enough, we follow the wants of the majority and think it's the best for us but really? Parents too sometimes think or say they know whats best, but the truth is, the only one who knows whats best for us is Allah S.W.T.
When it comes to matter of the heart (actually all matter that is), I've come to the conclusion that, I can try and work hard on it but in the end, I hope Allah will guide my instinct to the right one. But please don't think that all you need to do is pray and just hope for a miracle as a relationship, whatever relationship that is, you also have to put an effort into it. Communicate and be honest. Change for the better. For guys, before guiding your future wife/wives towards Allah, make sure you also better yourselves first and ladies, don't take men for granted too. Every single thing that each of us do, there must be a reason behind it.
If this entry offended anyone, do forgive me as this is not meant to provoke anyone but as reminder to all of you out there and me as well. Any faults or misunderstandings are from the lack of my knowledge and if any good are to come out of this, thank Allah S.W.T for His unlimited knowledge.
Assalammualaikum W.B.T
Munawwir Khan Yusoff Khan
abg awey, an suke ngn pe yg abg pk.. an rse an pon cm dpt wake up call ngn pe yg abg ckp.. oppss, sori.. lupe lak.. hurm, an kwn hafeez.. or jujurnye, ex hafeez? tp zmn skrg sush nk ckp cz msing2 ade pndirian and msing2 nk tegkkn pndirian msing2 n laz2 xtaw mne yg btol? tp btol lar, Allah yg Maha Mengetahui.. sumtimes bla ter pk psl jodoh, kte kate jodoh tuh da dtetpkn n sumhow akn smpai gak kt kte.. tp law xusha cmne kn? cmne lak ngn cple yg da jmpe, da kwen tp cerai, tuh pon nk ckp xd jodoh kew? hurm, cm mnyalhkn takdir sedgkn sndiri x try nk atasi mslh depn mate.. eceli, diz is wut happen 2 me recently.. cm asyk berserh pd 'takdir'.. sori, an rse cm da terlbey2 lak komen.. niway, suke ngn pe yg abg tulis.. (^ ^,)
ReplyDeleteTo an, all I would love to say is that, its good you understand. But in your case, same goes to Hafeez, I would love to suggest that do concentrate more on your studies. The value of knowledge is much2 more than anyone could imagine.
ReplyDeleteIt's true, I don't have a say in anyone's life as it's really up to them. But relationship and studies are two different things. Get your priorities right. Tak bersalah bercinta asal jangan sampai menganggu benda yang lebih penting.
As a reminder, there are many levels of love. The first is to Allah S.W.T, second is to Rasulullah s.a.w, third are to your parents (in this case, their hope for both of you to finish studying), fourth to our muslim brothers and sisters, and finally to your spouse.
My prayers that insyaAllah, you will succeed. Don't worry, with his permission you two still have a long2 way to go. Amin...
teehee..i don't much about muslimahs preferences, but from my own encounters with girls of other religious backgrounds, i find almost all of them put a man religion/belief as one important thing that determines the next course of plan. i used to think of it that way years ago i.e. this guy must believe the same god as i do, but thankfully i'm over it now. :D
ReplyDeleteHey jess,
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, I don't criticize the wants or wants not... it's just that, sometimes, do you really think that thing u wanted most is actually the best for you?
Btw jess, if I'm not mistaken you recently graduated right? Congrats...