Early Marriage, Divorce and Polygamy

"Abang sayang saya tak? Kalau abang sayang, kita kahwinlah." and several years after the marriage, the wife then says, "Abang ada perempuan lain kan? Abang selalu balik lambat. Saya telefon tak jawab. Baik abang ceraikan saya!"

Corny dialogue I know!! =P To the new readers, welcome. Sebelum itu, gambar-gambar di bawah adalah dari koleksi gambar di Aalen dan hanya dipamerkan sebagai contoh dan tidak berkaitan dengan sesiapa yang hidup atau yang telah meninggal dunia. First of all, I would like to ask the people out there, how many of you are around your twenties and already in a relationship? First questions first. Is your spouse about your age? Younger? Or perhaps older? It doesn't really matter how old or how young you are, this entry will seriously be very interesting to discuss.

My mother always tells me that I'm to young to be in a relationship what more to get married. Her arguments would be, I would not be able to concentrate in my studies and the second which we would discuss today is that what if I were to get bored with my spouse, due to the long term relationship effect and what more if we were married. Of course her arguments were backed up by some of my family members that got married early and ended up in divorced or even better polygamy. I'm sure you guys out there would be smiling right now while the girls are clenching their teeth together in aggravation towards the later word. =P My question now is that, can early marriage really be the cause of divorce or polygamy? Well some might agree and some might not.

It is known to us that there are some things that needs to be done early. These are the few main priorities such as praying, break fast and to bury a 'jenazah'. Within this priorities, it also states that getting married should also be carried out as soon as possible but of course after fulfilling the necessities. Pious men interprets this as means to discourage the so called 'couples' to be involved in non moral acts. But in these days, how does marriage really help the young couples other than discouraging them to get involved with these grey acts? One thing is for sure, young people especially guys do have the tendency to be bored with something after such a long time. Don't you dare lie cause I'm a guy and still am young. *grin* With basic calculation, the equation early marriage=divorce or polygamy can be concluded. Problem still is that in the old days, people used to get married early and somehow they manage to withstand the marriage far beyond their old age in which most cases without polygamy. So what is really different with their generation and ours?

Early Marriage=Divorce?

A few colleague of mine mentioned that the earlier generations matured faster compared to our generations and therefore we are left unprepared for an early marriage. Another reason mentioned is that, with a stressful environment that we have nowadays, the young people are left hanging in debts and emotional pain which could also lead to a divorce. An unhealthy environment could also cause the guys to have the thought of "Kawan biar seribu, kasih biar satu, kahwin biar empat, yang lain buat spare part." =P Well people, there is a saying that goes, before getting married, a man needs to prepare 4 rings. The engagement ring. The wedding ring. And the last to are the endu'ring' of the suffe'ring. *grin*

Well jokes aside let us define marriage. Marriage to my understanding is a very sacred vow between the two sides and God the Almighty, in which as guys, we take responsibility to protect, to feed, to fulfill her needs and of course to lead her in life while the women are supposed to respect, care, fulfill his needs and protect his family's honor. Apart from that, educating their future children and nurture them to be successful humans. The way I look at it is that, most of the generation nowadays gets married for love and lust instead of truly understanding the true meaning of marriage. A good advice to couples everywhere is that, always apply the give-n-take rule in the relationship. This does not mean only the guys need to give while the women receive every single time or the other way round but being supportive and consderate towards one another. Marriage is not a vow between two people in which one is always right and the other one is the husband you know. =P (Sorry girls. Just joking =P)

Another good advice would also be, communicate. Instead of keeping it in, try to tell the opposite sex how you feel. What makes you angry and what makes you happy. Guys, I know it's harder to do than say but try it sometime, while ladies, don't say things in metaphors. And additional advice to men and women would also be, guys, kalau perempuan marah, she needs someone to talk to and listen. It's not that she is angry with you, but she needs someone she can trust to express her feelings. Ladies, laki kalau diam dan bermasam muka, don't urge them to talk of their problems. They never tell you is because they care and don't want to trouble you and not the other way round and to what most of you would think. With understanding, a marriage will forever bloom insyaAllah.

Kawan biar seribu, kasih biar satu, kahwin biar empat, lain2 buat spare part?

Well moving into the topic polygamy. It's really an understatement that most people comprehend the term polygamy. For once, women seem to really hate it. Trust me I've heard a lot of rumors regarding polygamy from both side. The thing about polygamy is that, if you were to ask a women, they would surely say no while the guys would probably, kalau dah jodoh apa nak buat? (Same goes for me actually. =P) What makes it different is that, have you ever asked yourself, how in the world that some of the married polygamy couples could live with one another HAPPILY!!? Men and women everywhere seem to forget that certain rules need to be adhere to before a guy could marry more than one. Being fair is one of it and of course able to fulfill his duty towards his wives. Problem arise is when men don't really play by these rules and forget their responsibilities as husbands. They tend to get married according to their own lusts and not the sense of responsibility. Repeat after me guys... polygamy is a responsibility. And girls, before scolding your husbands for asking you the permission to marry another, take a quiet moment for yourself and reflect on these two things. Firstly try to put yourself into his shoes and look at yourself from his point of view. Secondly, ask yourself is he justified or not to marry this other lady. But one thing is for sure dear readers, love is a hunter and humans are his prey. It doesn't matter if one is married or not, the feeling of love will forever exist. It is how you react to it that tells others how matured you are.

Anyway, I'll leave you at this and if there is any comment, do comment. Cheerios and good luck!! =P