I'm Lost...

Help.... I need some motivation and encouragement. The last few weeks has been such a turn off except for the Easter holiday. I have had sleepless nights before but this is really scary. Turning in bed, wondering what I'm still doing at this foreign land is really killing me. I know its me who wanted to continue with my masters but why in the world is it so damn hard?? Can anyone help me out here?

I'm lost, confused, physically and mentally abused, on the verge of losing my sanity. I miss home and I miss my family. Its freaking hard when you are all alone out here. Most of my colleagues (from my batch) are about to go home. The two who used to study with me are now in Kiel while I'm still here. Why am I here anyway? Why did I even took this path? I really am in an absolute mess.

Ever heard of the term 'mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang and tidur tak lena'? They say its symptom for being in love. The truth is, its not. These are symptoms for depression. If anyone who is reading this and telling me to think optimistically, they should also tell me how to overcome the feeling of insecurity, anxiety and idiotic in comparison to others, cause that is what I'm truly feeling now.

Imagine being in a class, full of strangers with a fundamental knowledge of what is being taught out front, and then there's you. No knowledge while everything else is foreign and not just the language. That's where I am. I don't know what is happening to me. Never used to be like this before and for the first time I must admit... I'm LOST...

p.s BTW I'm not on drugs (wish I really am rite now) so pls....HELP ME!!!