To understand...

Why cyniscm? I was told by mom during my stay in Malaysia that I am begining to be a little cynical. I might not find a right answer straight away but if you want me to be cynical about it, well... =P

Truthfully speaking, I now find it hard to even understand myself. To comprehend me is like to read and memorize every vocabulary in my thick german dictionary and speaking fluently like a natural german. In my state of being at the present time, the only sentence that I can come up with is 'ich spreche kein deutsch'. =)

What to understand one might ask? As for one, if I was asked the question, where do you see yourself in the next 5 years, my answer would be, freaking rich and a ceo of a multi-million dollar company and yes, the answer would be cynical. I used to know why I am here right now, and I used to know whom I would be when I'm 30. I used to care for others, especially the loved ones, and it was all great. Then I grew up and started to think of me.

You know what beloved readers? Life's more than the fairy tales which you read during your childhood. It's only at times when nice guys finishes first. Most of the time, they stumble and they can never even get up to finish the race. I see a few sneers coming my way. =P Guess these guys are wondering why in the world am I so pessimistic. It's like this. Nice guys tend to obey every rule of the thumb, and in the end, while trying to please others as much as possible, they are drained from their final breath and that's life for them. By now, if my mom is reading this, she'll be saying, 'you just see their suffering here in this world, but in the later life, they will be heavily rewarded.'. Awir tahu mami. But why can't it be in both lives? I mean, it doesn't say anywhere, that if you are happy here and you'll be sad in the after life now does it? (maybe a little too much euphoria could cause that but what about a little happiness? Anyhow, the afterlife is really non of our business except for striving in our day life so that we will later on be placed in heaven)

As I've been told before, the only failure in life is when a person fail to get up and try again but seriously... how many chances do we really get in this life? It's not like we're in primary school where if you answer wrongly, you are allowed a second chance to answer the question again. Every failure has its own consequences and by the time your just about to reach goals in your second try, these consequences pull you down. So tell me, can there really be a second chance without the past coming and haunting you down?

And then I learned of someone whom changed my whole perspective to life. I guess, maybe its time for me to grow up some more and start to know myself. For those whom are reading right now, be afraid not of what tomorrow brings, nor depress of the past. Put this word in your mind and always remember, 'I am who I am Today'. =P

cheerios
Mooney

p.s Thanks Allah S.W.t for His blessings and Mummy for the guidance. Oh and to all out there, it's my mom's bday last Saturday and I hope you'd help me pray to God to bless her and my late father and may He fulfil their wishes and care for them in the later life. It doesn't hurt to pray. Trust me =)